Gill-Aid...raising funds for the Philippines disaster.

Lets face it, here in England we are incredibly lucky to not have to worry about mother natures destruction. Yes we get some cold, snowy, icy days. We even get some high gusts of wind from time to time. We all jump to complain about how it disrupts our travel plans etc but compared to some of the devastation across other parts of the world we really need to take a step back and thank our lucky stars.

This is why I've got involved in Gill-Aid. There are just a few of us trying to organise lots of charity events to raise money and awareness for the recent Philippines disaster.

The super typhoon that recently hit the Philippines named  'Typhoon Haiyan' has caused utter devastation. It hit on Friday the 8th November 2013 taking the lives of thousands of people, destroying homes and tearing villages apart. The 300 mile wide typhoon was the strongest storm to ever make landfall. The full extent of damage is still not yet clear. What is clear however is that thousands of innocent people, men, women and children who managed to survive are now homeless and without proper supplies of food and water.

This was when Gill-Aid formed. Our aim is to raise as much money from our community by putting on a series of events over the coming weeks. Our first event is to have a parol parade. This will be taking place on the 29th of November.

A parol is a Filipino concept. Its a star shaped Christmas lantern which symbolises the victory of light over darkness. We decided we would take this Filipino tradition and bring it to our high street. We are making as many parols as we possibly can out of paper, bamboo and other simple materials. We want to fill Gillingham high street with as many people as we can from young through to old, all carrying a parol lit with glow sticks, torches and led lights to show our respect and solidarity in reflection of what has happened in the Philippines.

Our next event is something that we are working hard to make as amazing as possible in a very short time frame. We have been overwhelmed by the amount of offers flooding in to support this event. It's going to be being held over two days, the 6th and 7th of December. We have bands, children's entertainers and crafts planned to spread over the two evenings and during Saturday daytime. Lots of entertainment over many venues. 

The next event is an auction which will be held at the Olive Bowl in Gillingham with a fully licensed bar. We have lots of great things coming in to auction off, again all money going to the Philippines. Once the auction has finished there will be a disco thanks to a local company donating their services.

I really hope Gillingham gets behind all of this and together, as a community we can raise lots of money to send abroad and rebuild other communities to what they once were.

You don't get to chose everything in life.....

As I've talked about before, I have bipolar disorder. I haven't chosen to have this illness and I do everything I can to try and minimise the effect it has on me and my family. I take my medications at the right times and attend all of my appointments.

Some days I'm like any other person and that's great, that's the goal I aim for. Unfortunately I have no control over what mood phase I will go through just as you don't have control over the weather.

Darren left work earlier in the year to become my full time carer. I'm not going into how much Darren does for me or the family as I'm not going to try and justify the fact he needs to be at home. It wasn't a lifestyle choice for Darren to leave work and for us to be on benefits as a result and I'm writing this blog post to explain my shock at the misunderstanding and judgement people pass on us daily.

Some seem to think that living on benefits you have lots of money and can afford luxuries. That isn't the case. We struggle just as much as everybody else to make sure there is food on the table, gas/electric/water is paid, our car being kept on the road with fuel in. We have to plan ahead for christmas and birthdays just as we always have. We have enough money coming in to survive, not to splurge out on shopping sprees.

We don't sit around all day everyday drinking, smoking and watching Jeremy kyle. When I'm unwell I'm unable to do much if anything.  I struggle to leave my bed or the sofa let alone the house. The pressure on Darren is immense at times and work would be an easier option for him, but not an option he can take at present.

Bipolar is an illness that is inside, you can't see the daily torture it can bring to the person and people around them.

Before judging people on benefits, someone who is unwell with an illness that isn't visible or carer, think again. They haven't chosen the path they are following. They are probably secretly struggling and don't need judgements added to their daily issues.

Summer holidays

The summer holidays have arrived!

My two older children have completed year 2 and reception class at school and have now broken up for the school summer holidays. YAY :)

We don't have lots of plans because as always its tricky due to the British weather. The only plans we have so far are going to Camp Bestival at Lulworth Castle and a camping trip with friends booked towards the end of the holidays. I'm hoping we're lucky enough to get dry weather for both these camping trips, camping in wet weather really doesn't appeal to me.

I feel lucky living near the south coast as if the weather is dry there are so many things we can do that please all three children very cheaply or for free. Within an hour or so of driving we're able to reach some wonderful parks, beautiful beaches or tranquil walks in the countryside depending on what it is we fancy doing.

I envisage us going on many dog walks, lots of play park trips, spending time at the beach playing in the sand and watching fireworks glistening over the sea. It'd be nice to have a couple of special days out such as the Bournemouth air days, indoor soft play and maybe a day at Legoland (courtesy of Tesco Clubcard vouchers) if the weather allows. Not to forget some lazy days in.

I'm keeping everything crossed for a dry 6 weeks so we're able to have a really memorable summer holidays.  Bring it on :D

The past year with bipolar

A year ago I was in hospital due to a very low period in my mood. I knew I'd have a hard time stabilising my mind but I never knew it would take so long.

I've had many medication changes and am again currently in a very low dark place. My panic attacks have become an issue for me again, but that always becomes a problem when I feel 'unwell'.

I felt very alone and didn't want talk to anyone about how I was feeling again this time. I felt embarrassed and judged which was something I thought I'd delt with. Once I did start telling friends I was surprised at how many said they'd noticed I hadn't looked or seemed myself and I've been overwhelmed with how caring and supportive some of my friends are. I'm so very lucky.

As always Darren has been my rock. He knows when I can't handle things and he never fails to step in and help me. Unfortunately this time Darren hasn't been able to work while caring for me and made the hard choice to leave work. It's such a huge relief to have him home and its aiding hugely in me feeling better.

At the moment I'm going through yet another medication change which explains why I'm low and anxious at the moment. I'm not sure I feel that things will ever get better but I'm trying to be hopeful.

For now, I'm going to focus on waking up every morning and spending time with my family and fitting in seeing friends as a bonus. I tire very quickly which then doesn't help my mood so I'm trying to find a balance.

At least it's Easter so there is plenty of chocolate about and I get to relax with all my babies at home rather then school runs and club runs.

Happy Easter everybody!!!