A year ago I was in hospital due to a very low period in my mood. I knew I'd have a hard time stabilising my mind but I never knew it would take so long.
I've had many medication changes and am again currently in a very low dark place. My panic attacks have become an issue for me again, but that always becomes a problem when I feel 'unwell'.
I felt very alone and didn't want talk to anyone about how I was feeling again this time. I felt embarrassed and judged which was something I thought I'd delt with. Once I did start telling friends I was surprised at how many said they'd noticed I hadn't looked or seemed myself and I've been overwhelmed with how caring and supportive some of my friends are. I'm so very lucky.
As always Darren has been my rock. He knows when I can't handle things and he never fails to step in and help me. Unfortunately this time Darren hasn't been able to work while caring for me and made the hard choice to leave work. It's such a huge relief to have him home and its aiding hugely in me feeling better.
At the moment I'm going through yet another medication change which explains why I'm low and anxious at the moment. I'm not sure I feel that things will ever get better but I'm trying to be hopeful.
For now, I'm going to focus on waking up every morning and spending time with my family and fitting in seeing friends as a bonus. I tire very quickly which then doesn't help my mood so I'm trying to find a balance.
At least it's Easter so there is plenty of chocolate about and I get to relax with all my babies at home rather then school runs and club runs.
Happy Easter everybody!!!
