Three weeks ago today I was discharged from hospital so I've been focusing on trying to pick up and getting back to day to day life. It's been harder then I ever expected it to be!! I've been so lucky to have Darren. He is so supportive and has done everything that needs doing to take the stress from me while I've been getting back on track. He's been doing the school runs, cleaning, washing, getting the kids dressed and has even learnt to tie Georgina's hair up. He has done everything!!
It's been a rollercoster, which I knew it would be, but I wasn't prepared for it. I assumed that once leaving hospital everything would just fall back into place. When I arrived home I felt glad to be back. Being with the children and in my own bed excited me, for a few hours anyway. I didn't sleep well my first night home and for the first day or two I felt rock bottom. I just kept the thought in my head that things would improve.
Over the next few days I'd have a good day and then a couple that were bad. Slowly the good days became more frequent and started to even out with the bad. I felt I was getting somewhere at last.
I'm now feeling fairly stable and having more good days then bad, but I know I will still get days of feeling hopeless while my medication is still settling down.
I'm glad I went into hospital, it was what was needed at the time. I left at the right time and have slowly recovered. None of that would have happened if it hadn't been for the support I've had, so thank you to those.
I am scared of the future. I'm worried of how I'm going to manage my bipolar so that I don't get the highs and the lows but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now I'm focusing on my family, getting Darren back to work (as he's now been off for five weeks) and trying to get life back to how it was, full of health and happiness.
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