My perception was so wrong....

I'm sat here in room 5 of Stewart lodge in Sherborne. Stewart lodge is a psychiatric ward for mentally unstable people. I currently fall into that category!

As I've previously blogged I have bipolar disorder. It's a mental illness that sends your mood from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. People can be admitted into a psychiatric hospital for being at either end of the scale as both can be dangerous for different reasons. I'm unfortunately here at the moment as I'm suffering from a particular low period.

I've never been to a ward like this before. I've only ever visited bog standard hospital wards to visit friends and relatives who have been physically unwell, never mentally. I'd always pictured a psychiatric ward to be very clinical with men in white coats. The typical 1960's stereotype I suppose. I've always drearded the thought of entering anywhere like this through fear of seeing 'crazy' people walking around and shouting and screaming. I'm glad to say I couldn't have been more wrong.

This unit is very laid back and relaxed. There is a communal area for watching tv, a dining room and kitchen and a small craft room along with individual rooms with your bed, sink and tv. You don't have an ensuite bathroom but all the toilets, showers and baths are very clean. There are members of staff here 24/7 and you can go to them at anytime. It's a small ward and currently only 4 of us here. We all sit together for meals at set times of the day but otherwise we are free to do as we please.

I never thought I'd be happy being away from my family and although I obviously miss them I feel much happier being here receiving the help that I need. I feel safe and secure here which is such a relief that I never thought this environment would provide.

I don't know how long I'll be here but I am aware that I'm fighting an uphill battle and to do so I need the support of the staff and other patients. Darren and the children have visited as have other people which is nice to know I'm not cut off from my outside life completely.

Some people may not understand why I'm being so open about where I am and why, but I do strongly feel that there shouldn't be a taboo about this subject and I want people to be aware that it's not a scary place like many would think it is.

While I've been here I've coloured an Easter picture for the children to have at home so that they know I'm with them in spirit during the Easter break which I actually found very therapeutic.

To sum it all up, i can't believe how wrong I was at my expectations of what a psychiatric ward would be, and I'm happy to say that I'm pleasantly surprised.